Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) Review
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Release Date: June 22, 2012
Written by Seth Grahame-Smith
Directed by Timur Bekmambetov
As most of you probably know by now, I’m not a big fan of Tim Burton. Actually, to say that I’m not a big fan of Tim Burton is like saying that I’m not a big fan of being repeatedly whacked in the ball sack with a sledgehammer. So, despite its awesome title, knowing that Mr. Burton was even remotely involved in the creation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter almost completely turned me away from the film. Regardless, I have a job to do and that job is to inform you wonderful people what movies you should and should not watch, and I cannot do my job without watching some films that I don’t want to.
Thankfully, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter wasn’t Tim Burton-ified. In fact, it wasn’t even close. The film is a mixture of historical drama, horror, war, and fantasy, but not ultra-silly or unfunny. Interestingly, the film is surprisingly historically-accurate for the most part, and covers the major events of Lincoln’s life, and addresses some reasoning behind the Lincoln mythos.
For those of you that couldn’t tell from the title, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter shows the world what it would be like if the 16th President of the United States, Mr. Abraham Lincoln, was – you guessed it – a vampire hunter. From there, we are exposed to a huge conspiracy where every major moment of Lincoln’s life is retold but with vampires. Does it sound a little silly? Well, it kind of is, but there is enough backstory to keep the film on a straight road and keep everything related. It’s like history class mixed with mythical creatures that get teenage girls moist.
The history nerd in me was happily surprised by many of the characters in the film. Mary Todd Lincoln (excellently portrayed by Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and Harriet Tubman (Jaqueline Fleming) were awesome, and Alan Tudyk’s performance as Stephen Douglas was great, albeit not as humorous as I had expected from Tudyk. I enjoyed Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, I really did, but it was just moderately too serious in tone for the overall absurdity of the plot. There’s almost no humor in the entire film, and I really think it could’ve used it. It only dips it foot into ridiculousness when it should honestly be bathing in it. Instead we’re left with a shockingly serious movie with some nearly embarrassingly cheesy moments.
Regardless, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was an interesting movie that kept me entertained for nearly two hours. It’s not going to set the world on fire and it is destined to be remembered more for its silly title than for the film itself, but I still couldn’t help but enjoy it. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s definitely worth taking a sip. I’m being honest here.
- Blair Hoyle